How Pain Informs and Forms Us – A New Understanding

Every experience we undergo from birth onwards (and many will argue from long before this time) is a defining experience, to a greater or lesser degree. The degree of impact each event has on our lives is relative to its perceived value at the time. We value things most highly when they resonate at the deepest level of our Self.


Due to our complete dependence on others in infancy, our core essence is at its most fragile and pure at this stage. As we develop increasing competence, we begin to gradually lessen our dependence on external factors. Until and unless the transition of our power centre (from outer to inner) is complete, we remain insatiably driven to protect our tender core. We continue to adapt, through our innate sense as well as externally driven impositions. Early adaptations to circumstances that threaten our wellbeing and security, along with a constellation of other subsequent protective adaptations, when repeated over time become recognized as our “personality” traits. Whether we are labeled as self-confident and ethical, or arrogant and immoral, depends largely on how our sense of self concretized from early circumstantial challenges, over time.

Behaviors that were once purely adaptive, inured us from suffering our wounds. Through development and maturity, past scars harden and potentially become debilitating. All residue from past wounds left unhealed, even when not overtly crippling, limit our access to a vast potential trove of choices we would otherwise have available to us. Just as a physical scar contracts around its edges in order to bind two tissues of the body, thus limiting our mobility; so too, emotional scarring constrains our expansive potential and impedes the natural emotional resilience we require to stabilize our psyche.

Years of operating under emotional restraint eventually renders us hemmed in by inflexibly narrow parameters. Past incidents that were endured in wordless silence remain entrenched as deeply felt daggers of shame. Shame threatens our sense of self, etching our memories of inadequacy deeply through to our most profound and subtle layers. The closer the wound to our soul, the greater the need for protective measures undertaken to guard our vital spirit.

The past forever informs who we are for reasons above. To ignore, deny, or repress our painful past moments (despite our innate self-protective inclination) prevents healing of those wounds. Without healing, we remain forever limited in our freedom to express, explore, and create our selves outside of externally restrictive boundaries.

Though all behaviors at point of origin serve us protectively, those same boundaries (self-imposed or otherwise), eventually restrict the necessary freedom required to navigate a spiritual awakening and return us home to our Self.

Emotion is in fact, a physical and psychological embedding of our reactive body responses to events when we were unable to express ourselves otherwise, i.e. act out mindfully.

Without rattling our defensive apparatus that has long acted as security for our soul, we are denied access to our most vital field of creative potential. As soon as we begin to shake loose some of our painfully held memories, energy is set in motion. Until shaken free, we are prevented from releasing our pain and regaining our creative freedom required for living fully in the present moment. Pain often provides a direction to move forwards upon its release, but until such time only acts as a yoke of restriction for us to resist.

Painful energetic imprints dig their way deeper and deeper into our central nervous system; psychologically via our personality and physically via illness. Alternatively, physical and psychological symptoms may converge through the ennui of exhaustion from endless consumption of energy used for suppression.


We may view the journey of life as driving on a roadway; focusing on our view ahead through the broad windshield that serves as our primary lens. Simultaneously, we remain aware of visual access to a smaller rear-view mirror; providing not a source of distraction, but a supplementary tool to broaden our scope and further assist us in safely reaching our destination.

If the use of our rear-view mirror becomes a distraction and holds our gaze for more than a moment, we jeopardize our ability to navigate the path directly in front of us. As we navigate our way mindfully, we inevitably encounter unexpected turns and impediments that continually transform the living landscape. A stream of new information, such as those offered by modern “Apps.” can continually update us by feeding more direct routes with less inconvenience to reach our destination. We are wise to be aware of the caveat for all external assistance devices (however well designed to assist us) will at times mislead us by their inherent limitations.  At other times we will be subject to our own errors and limitations, as our shifting awareness moves us from one path to another in search of never-ending ideals or goals.

Only once we have our gaze firmly in line with the primary intention of spiritual growth regardless of means available, are we secure in knowing that all alternate paths lead to the same sacred goal.

Once we accept there are a myriad of ways the universe sets forth for us to attain spiritual growth, we can more readily work towards achieving emotional freedom from past wounds. There is no event that cannot be utilized for the reverent energy it conveys for spiritual elevation.  Pain is often greater than joy (perhaps because its effects tend to stick like Velcro) in providing the ultimate messages we require to learn what is necessary for our spiritual development. Whereas, the impact of even our greatest moments of awe and joy tends to slide off of us over time (comparable to Teflon).

Pain burns deeply under our flesh, into the core of our being as a tribute of remembrance to whom we once were and that “place” we long to return to. Only then, can we be truly at ease with where we are in life; accepting the past and embracing of all of our choices. The singular earnest intention aimed towards spiritual awakening provides all the necessary guiding light for our travels.

We are all aspects of one universal energy, sharing a common origin as well as future; our connection to all divinity exists in a realm outside of time and space. The notion that spiritual growth is not a priority now… maybe later… is the greatest delusion of all. Once we accept there is only now, it is clear there is no time to waste. Make every moment count; for there is only now… and now… and if you miss this message, do not fret, as “now” exists in every next moment you have.

Outside of time, there is no future and no past. There is only now.

Take this opportunity to expand your scope of vision through the entire span of the front windshield. Cleanse it thoroughly for ultimate clarity before starting your journey anew every day. A clear view will diminish careless errors along the way and guarantee a safer ride. It is wise to keep checking the rear-view mirror as well as glancing laterally at side-view mirrors to assist you gaining the broadest possible scope. Those who travel along side your journey will assist in your lateral view, as they share their expectations and advice with you. Be mindful of many, whose personal need for control will attempt to steer you towards the only journey they have control over; their own. With mindfulness, one can never be disappointed regardless of route chosen. All routes emanating from a true heart-felt desire, guided by spirit will bring you closer to fulfilling the mission of your soul.

To glance in the side-mirror is to listen to those around you, all-the-while knowing the external data remains yours for discernment. Check in with your inner GPS frequently and deeply… for guidance directly from the depth of your soul, experienced through the language of your heart.

Every experience along our life journey is a part of what informs our  mission and forms our unique being. Stay focused on the road ahead. Remember the mirrors of time hold sacred information to be used as tools to assist us along our journey.

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